hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
