I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
