too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
