I like to think it a success when the cops are called
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
