The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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