Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
