she was so not down for the gang bang
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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