But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Help me help you realize you are a moron
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
