the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
