Non-Jews are for practice
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
