Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
