I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
