He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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