Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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