I skipped work to stalk him.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
