hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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