Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
