so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
