I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
