A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
