So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I understand Curling. That high.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
