I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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