Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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