We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
