dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
