I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
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