Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
