he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
