ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
