If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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