I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
