yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
