i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
