It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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