yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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