How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Dignity is for republicans.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Randomize
