I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
no you cant smoke seaweed
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
