theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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