i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
