Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
