he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
