so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
