She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
