Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
either way he was missing a nipple.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
