Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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