Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
