They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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