he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
