i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
