Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
