I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
